Football is all about trophies, but not just winning them

I was just watching reruns of the Sopranos and The Wire.  Isn’t it amazing how football has learned lessons from both?

They each had a decoy location to throw the Feds off.  The place where the real business was carried out. A funeral home, an old people’s home or Satriale’s Pork Store – they all provided subterfuge.

A funeral home is too impractical as, to be fair, the casual caller is harder to justify.  Mind you the kind of stiffs in the grey IFA suits from the IFA Council wouldn’t look out of place there either in the boxes or not!

Why not open a trophy business?  It’s the perfect place for people from all sports, including football clubs of course, to come and have a good browse.  Plausible deniability.

What better way for the officials of the Divisional Associations, the Irish FA and lots of wee men from wee clubs to come and have a browse.  There might not be much product on show and the range could change little. A seemingly inoffensive wee man with a smug grin could be on hand to offer sound advice.  Some of it could even relate to trophies!

The front would be so effective that few could guess or even imagine that this might be where the real IFA business was done.  Forget Windsor Avenue, the trophy shop would be the real powerhouse in local football.  All the strategy could be plotted through it.

There could be a long procession of personalities with medals to be inscribed and trophies to be procured.  Trophies fit for kings from a kingmaker could be offered.  Many could choose not even to continue to keep up the charade and simply wrap their little packages of information in pleasantries and depart well stroked and with the promise of future office, longer terms or trips away.

The wee man could collate the info, could compare, could confide

with his sources and could plot a cunning plan to take over the world ….. of football.

So there you have it folks, if you want to be a top man in the governing body.  Open a trophy business and invite everyone over to browse.  You’ll be disappointed that there’s no Tony Soprano on view but the shop has no less urbane charm than Satriale’s and a wire tap like thee ones in the Wire would certainly yield some interesting chats.