Who would have thought....a terrier the Leader of the pack?

You couldn’t make it up.  Cost your business almost half a million when the General Secretary is stood down.  Cost your business a further half a million to sack the CEO.  Government asks for your head on a plate.  Reluctantly, eventually, and, with little by way of the Conal McDevitt integrity, you exit stage right in silence.

Fast forward to 2011.  Government request an independent review and article changes reform the Irish FA. They deliver:

• No more Board places based on which part of the game you represent.
• An independent as chair of the Board
• Timescales set to limit how long a person can be on the Board or President
• Get rid of the Treasurer post which is a paper tiger
• No more Senior Clubs Vice President
• And many more reforms…

A race for the Vice Presidency ensues.  The feared County Antrim FA pack puts forward two candidates.  The old dog Terry Pateman and the kingmaker Terrier Martin.  The seniors put in Linfield’s finest – Jack Grundy.  Martin fails the competency as assessed by an independent commission.  The County Antrim FA crown the old dog to warm the bed in the shed leaving Jack to lick his wounds and dream of the new Windsor Kennel.

Fast forward again to 2013.  The Terrier has failed another independent panel.  His loyal pack cries foul again.  The Terrier’s bowl was spiked (not once, not twice but three times).  Honest Jim Shaw is snarled at by the fiercest dogs that County Antrim can unmuzzle.

The IFA Council decide that new articles are needed.  A group is formed.  Blue Jack and

Failed Davy are reunited with common purpose.  Add one President and some Ballymena, North West  and Mid Ulster hounds.  Allow the Board Chair to tag along to cuckold Honest Jim.

Take seven months, twist into it a few ‘consultations’, add some partisan led choreography so that the pups all know which hoops to go through.  Lodge the ‘new’ article changes by the County Antrim FA.  Gently warm at gas mark 7 for four weeks to flush out any opposition.  Terrier Martin takes to the floor at the IFA AGM in June barking out his bidding to Bobbie, Freddie, Merv and Rob who are all freshly groomed in their fine County Antrim collars and, hey presto,  you’ve cooked up a tasty set of articles.

Garnish with a little of the Martin smug grin, sit back, savour and then munch with some Amateur League accompaniments for extra flavour.

What have you got?

• An extra year for the Chairman so he can hold tight to the reins
• Two Deputy President Posts – one must be senior and one must be from the rest of the game.
• No more competency required.
• The meat of the Governance review has been devoured and the bones of the old regime are showing through the carcass.

Mix the end result with DCAL’s millions and watch the dish curdle a tad.

Depose one Pateman.  Frighten the other packs with loud barking and scenting the corners of Windsor Avenue fully.

No opposition. No votes.  Only two dogs emerge. One from the senior game – Blue Jack – no-one really likes him but, bless the old spaniel, he keeps rubbing against your legs and polishing your brogues with his long tongue.  One Deputy President from the rest – The Terrier.  Not even the youngest fiercest dogs dare utter more than a whimper.

Leak the ‘new’ articles and the ‘election’ to DCAL and watch the edges of the tasty dish of stadium millions curl up at the edges.  Watch the cost of the ingredients increase sharply with the threat of the withdrawal of the final Windsor bowl.

Shake with a whiff of protest and quosh that with some Windsor Avenue fairy dust left over from the ghost of Boyce’s past.

Or, put more simply, just how is that Martin is still there?

He wrote, consulted, lodged and presented his own articles which allowed him to come to power without competence.  Each of the members of the Articles Group had the promise of pieces of silver in it for them.  They/he made sure there were no other candidates and no vote required.  He’s elected by acclamation.

Surely the gappy toothed Irish Wolfhound in DCAL will take the Bowl away?  She may not mention the Terrier by name but frankly we all know that dog Davy don’t hunt any more in governance terms.

In summary:

• DM fails three times
• A group chaired by the President cuckolded by the Board Chair carves up a new set of articles
• Competency is removed
• DM presents the article changes from the County Antrim FA
• There are less than 20 votes against the articles at the Annual General Meeting
• Pateman is forced into resignation
• DM runs unopposed

Council ‘elected’ DM unanimously.  That includes all parts of the game – junior, senior, intermediate, ladies, boys, supporters club, schools and referee.  The Board does not have the power to remove him but what exactly are they doing to deal with the situation?  What exactly are they doing to keep the money?